Money can’t buy joie de vivre, but it can buy a ticket to Paris!

“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.” – Albert Einstein

Paris diaries 01.

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Travelling slows down time, everything is new again. Your routine, your surroundings, your perspective, everything, changes. I don’t think it is always necessary to leave your city or country to have a refresh, a reset, but I do think it can help to get there quicker and with more effect. Which is why I went to Paris by myself for 10 days (with a hiatus for a few days when my friend joined me). 10 days felt more like a month (in a good way).

Maybe this feeling or need, to get away, to leave, to change, isn’t for everyone. Maybe you are ok with time slipping away so quickly before you, where weeks go by in a flash, and you are quite content with everything staying roughly the same. For me, it is like an internal itch, to get away, to see something new, be somewhere new, encounter new people. I’m sure this could be seen as perhaps unnecessary or extreme, however, if it spurs me to do things and make changes, I guess I’m ok with that.

 “When you’re travelling with someone else, you share each discovery, but when you are alone, you have to carry each experience with you like a secret, something you have to write on your heart, because there’s no other way to preserve it.” – Shauna Niequist

Over the years I have often embarked on adventures that probably seem strange or even foolish to others. (side note – somehow I have always been really lucky and can think of a number of times where I look back and think, thank goodness I had some weird luck following me or that could have turned out a whole lot worse!) Travelling alone for some people is probably a foreign concept, and at the same time for others, a beautiful and exciting one, with total freedom. I think I’m somewhere in between on that front. But what I do think I have is an internal compass of sorts, or maybe it’s more like an alarm clock, and after a while it compels me to book something, there and then. With not much of a plan, and frankly, very little thought, I go ahead and book something, I set my heights super high and usually have some grand vision of how wonderful it is all going to be…. And then the time comes around and it is the night before I am due to leave, and everything changes. Excitement and hope quickly changes to fear, anxiety, and general unease at the sheer unknown of what lies ahead of me. Then I will be thinking, ‘why, why, do I need to make myself do things like this?!’.

“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you.” – Caroline Myss

But, this is all part of it. Not that I have the insight to think that at the time, I’m too busy being scared or beating myself up. Only once I settle in, and meander along my bumpy path, with doubt and a whole lot of unknown, that I realise that it is an adventure. You can’t have the adventure and the glory without some of the fear and mishaps. Instead take the plunge, give into fear and surrender to whatever lies ahead. It is a (necessary) voyage out of your comfort zone and into a new arena, and often, a new time zone. By which I mean literally, but also metaphorically, abandoning your usual time restraints and restrictions. I personally find it easier to just drift and not be concerned with what time it is, or even what day it is. To no longer feel tied down by the day of the week, or hour of the day, to me, is a pure joy, which no doubt with practice can be brought in to our every day lives, but it is something I find very difficult to do. This is time to slow down, let go of time, and expand. Expand into new ideas, new perspectives and new levels of creativity. Getting out of your comfort zone in this way helps in many ways, sometimes it will help you see something from a new angle, or perhaps tackle a problem from a new angle, and it will definitely build your confidence. Once you look back and remember the fear, that you then changed and settled into, you can build on that and recognise the strength within yourself that you have created.

“How do the geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans, know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within, if only we would listen to it, that tells us so certainly when to go forth into the unknown.” – Elizabeth Kübler-Ross

Many of us in the western world, busy ourselves along day by day, week by week, hardly looking up to take a moment to notice anything. This is not a way to live. By taking an hour out, to go for a walk, or take a weekend off to drive to the countryside, or, if you are able, leave the country for a week or longer. And, if you are brave enough, do this alone. Only when you are alone can you see things as you alone would see them, let them seep in and let them conjure up new views, new ideas, and breathe in a new lease of life.

If you do this alone, it probably won’t be all roses, especially if you are not used to solo time. But now, more than ever, it is important to physically get away. If you are an amazing yogi, or meditator, maybe you don’t need to physically remove yourself. You probably have it sorted where you can just sit down, close your eyes, and bliss out to anywhere you want by not going anywhere at all. However, with the growing number of distractions we are near enough constantly faced with, this is not easy for most people – it is for sure something to practice though.

I know this idea of getting away, or of shutting yourself of from the world isn’t a new one, but it is a great one, especially if you are trying to pursue anything creative.

So I will end there, and encourage you all to take yourself away from it all, even if just for half an hour, whatever/ wherever is accessible to you. Allow yourself that time. I read/ listen to so many successful people say that their best ideas come when they are not trying, when they go for a run, or have a bath or generally slow down and take time out, time off.

“I see my path, but I don’t know where it leads. Not knowing where I’m going is what inspires me to travel it.” – Rosalia de Castro

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog, and I hope it got you thinking, (and perhaps even doing!).

To follow in a blog post soon – a little more about my time in Paris.

Holly

http://www.hollysharpe.com

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Circle of influence.

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Do you believe me when I say that you, each and every one of you, has the ability, the power, the capability, to change someone’s life. I think this post ties in with words I have mentioned previously, and words I plan on coming back to. This idea, or truth, depending on how you want to look at it, that we have SO much potential already inside of us, all of us, all of you. I mean that so sincerely when I say YOU, there are no exceptions. And yet so many of us don’t even come close to experiencing what that true potential is.

I don’t want to ramble too much, or sound vague, so to try and make clear my point, here is a list, when in doubt, use a list (if you could see my studio/ my diary/ any scrap of paper within 2 feet of me you would understand my obsession (problem) with lists!).

  1. You are an incredible result of nature, of circumstance, of experiences, of days, weeks, months, years, SCIENCE. Your sheer existence in coming into this world is not far from a miracle (if you have any understanding of how much is against you even arriving in the first place, nature is miraculous).
  1. People play a huge part in your life.
  1. Everyone wants and strives for the same thing, they just have different ways of trying to get there, or different ideas of what it means, but what we all want, is, ultimately, to be happy.
  1. You are influenced by your surroundings, whether that be the people you are surrounded by, the places, the weather, the experiences.
  1. Someone, or possibly many people, have helped shape who you are today, be that in a positive or negative way.
  1. Therefore, following from point 5, it is basic maths that you too have had an influence on one, or many, people’s lives.

Considering point 5 and 6, this is my main focus, you may not all realise it, but you have the power to inspire and influence people, each and every day. My wonderful friend Jaq refers to this as our ‘circle of influence’. This is a beautiful and comprehendible way of describing my point. This way of looking at it really helps me. It is so easy to be disheartened by all the misery and seemingly unchangeable things in the world, and feel like you can never make any difference, or aid in any way to all of this. As well as on a personal level, you may feel like you have no control over your life, over the things that happen to you and you feel lost in the situation you are in. But is the other option to do nothing? To not even try?

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” – Edmund Burke

Instead, why not look at it as every person having their own ‘circle of influence’. Think about how many people you know, or have known, throughout your life, how many people do you speak to throughout the day, or even just pass by on the street, or the person that served your coffee this morning, or your dinner last night etc etc. All these people, friends, foes and acquaintances make up your very own circle. All of those people I have just mentioned have their own circle, so already that is A LOT of people. Once it is broken down like that, it does make black and white sense how many people you can influence throughout your day/ life.

Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects. – Dalai Lama.

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‘Flame’ 2016 (sold)

Sometimes I find this comes naturally to me, and I see, so clearly, how my attitude, body language etc with every interaction effects the outcome of that interaction. It has an impact on how I feel, my mood, their mood etc. But sometimes, I don’t feel so positive and it is easy to get a bit stuck and mope around and drag others down with you. So that part takes practice, noticing when you are choosing to be negative and spreading that energy around, then practice getting out of that headspace and see how you actually, in most cases, have the power to turn it around.

I like to think of it all as energy. You can either steal energy from people, or you can spread energy every where you go. In an ideal situation, the exchange of energy should be equal, so both people leave the conversation/ interaction feeling equally better than when they started. I’m sure you all know people that either always seem to bring you down, or, on the flip side, I hope you all know someone, or many people, that make you feel amazing after spending time with them. They always appear to be happy, positive, and want the best for you, you feel inspired and energised after just talking to them, and it lifts you up, it brings out the best in you, and therefore they feel good too. So you both leave bursting with positive energy. You may have the idea in your head that they are just naturally always happy, and maybe they are, maybe some people are wired to always lean towards that, (although psychology would say all humans are naturally wired to have a negative bias) OR maybe they try damn hard every single day to choose to be positive, to see the silver lining, to strive to be better and to help others be better. The only reason that everyone isn’t like this, is because it is also the harder route, and we are programmed to see the negative, to be fearful of things, but it has become disproportionate to every day experiences. It takes practice, dedication, and perseverance, but I believe it is a choice. You can make the choice with every situation, every day, each morning, to be grateful for what you have, to be positive about the good things in your life, and look at your problems as a welcome challenge to work through, rather that going about your day/ life feeling sorry for yourself, blaming every one and every thing for your misfortune, and therefore attracting more misfortune and misery into your life.

Look around you, at others, for evidence of how much weight your thoughts and actions have on your life.

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Often the best, and simplest thing you can do to help someone else, is LISTEN. Actually listen, with your full attention. Which has become something of a virtue in our current world  filled with a million and one distractions, with the depths of social media and the blackhole that is the internet, people have lost sight of the importance of genuine human connection. Many have lost the art of concentration, and of really listening. When you get someone to open up to you, often you don’t even need to say much, unless you have some wisdom to impart, often the most valuable thing you can give them is your time. To feel like someone else cares enough to listen, can be a huge comfort in itself.

I know this may seem like a small, trivial, and inconsequential start in the greater scheme of things. But when the entire world is made up of small moments, with people just like you, if everyone changed those small moments to better moments, THAT would have huge consequences, for the better. The talk below, puts into words a lot of what I am saying, in an inspiring, powerful, beautiful and poignant, way.

 

Thanks again for reading,

Holly

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twitter: @hollysharpe

http://www.hollysharpe.com