Trust in YOU.

As per usual, it has been over a month since I last posted something on here. I have actually drafted a few posts, but some I am still working on, and others the timing doesn’t feel quite right, yet… I have had some intense creating time recently – which involved painting for long hours to create some new work for Breeze gallery here in Scotland. It had probably been a few months since I had painted that intensely, and it really felt like it was needed. It is such an amazing feeling to let something out that has been inside of you, and sometimes weighing you down, the whole process is quite cathartic. However, like with most creative things, and with most things that are worth doing, it also comes with some element of struggle. Struggle to not over think what you are doing, and why, trying to not question your work too much, and trying to come up against and cross this weird threshold that seems to hold you back from finishing anything at times. Thankfully I was under a nice amount of pressure – ie not too much, but it was still there – which meant I knew I had to finish them, rather than leaving them in this strange limbo where it’s as if by leaving them there you have some excuse as to why they ‘don’t work’. Maybe to some of you that made no sense at all, but I am hoping some of you creatives out there, from all creative disciplines, can relate to what I am talking about, even if I didn’t word it in the best way.

Since then, it now leaves me with a mass catch up operation. Yawn. This involves emails, making my new website (which has been ‘in progress’ for so long now it is starting to hurt >< ) , and the tedium that is photoshopping what feels like endless amounts of scans/ files so that they are ready for web/ printing. I have been wondering if I need to do a class in photoshop as it is quite possible there is a quicker way to do what I am doing… and I know I have a bad track record for inadvertently making things harder for myself. Anyway, my, longwinded, point is that because I haven’t been doing anything that creative for the last week or so, I am once again flooded, with a running commentary of words all jumbled up from everything I have thought/ learnt/ listened to / conversed about of late. It’s like I have too many to make any sense of. And they often hit me at times when I can’t actually put them down on paper, like when I am driving and listening to music, or if I am out for a walk by myself, or exercising, basically at times when my mind is allowed to wander. Which is a bit weird because I am by no means a writer, but I think perhaps because I don’t currently have a creative outlet whilst I am doing all the tedious stuff, that therefore I have to explode my creative stuff in some other way, and it has started to come out in words. Maybe because in some ways it is more instant, that’s what it feels like for me anyway, like I can off load a tonne of stuff quite quickly and it is like a weight has been lifted, or like a sense of having achieved something.

So I did start to write this to explain why I finally managed to unearth some sense and some direction to be able to hone in on a topic amongst all the other noise/ commentary in my head. And here it begins, the thing I actually sat down to write about(!) :

I came across this article the other day, an interview with none other than THE real life Erin Brockovich. Which many of you may know because of the film in 2000 where Julia Roberts played her. And if I am honest, is still one of my favourite films. It inspires me, and I love the whole idea of someone fighting against something that many would deem impossible/ insurmountable. (And even more so because the someone in this case is a woman!! *and I think women are amazing*) I also feel this is an apt moment to quote from another brilliant (!) film, also based on a true story, that I re-watched recently, ‘The Imitation Game’

“Sometimes it is the people no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine”.

The quote below however, was the main catapult to put my thoughts into words. Mainly because, upon reflection, this concept was the main thing I learnt for myself last year, 2015. There were a few instances with my work, and decisions I had to make/ risks I chose to take in relation to my work, but also in my personal life (needless to say there is a very grey line where one starts and the other ends) where it was pointed out to me, mainly by a few of my nearest and dearest friends that I need to believe in my own decisions more, and trust in them more. I was actually taken aback when it was first said to me, even the language I was using was almost like justifying a decision in some way. I hadn’t even realised this was something I did. It was like my default, to think that someone else always knows better than me. It was also one of my great yoga teachers that made a similar point, that with some of the biggest decisions in our lives, we often turn to someone else for help, he used the example of buying a house, we entrust the help of a solicitor etc – and pay them a lot of money to do so! Now, I am not sure it is even possible to sell or buy a property without that in the UK, but if you think about it, it is a bit crazy, especially when I know many people who are so frustrated by the incapabilities of their solicitors in these instances, missing details at the start and quite basic things which then hold up the whole process, and yet we still pay them thousands to do this for us.

Erin B quote

Of course I accept and acknowledge that sometimes someone else does know best, sometimes I need someone that has the experience, or expertise or knowledge that I simply don’t have, and I hope I will be humble enough to take their advice. However I also know I still need to practice, as I’m sure many others do, to listen to myself and look back on how well I have managed so far, in a lot of aspects in my life, and usually through my own decisions, and hard work etc. So why would I stop trusting that sometimes I do know best? I can’t help but think that we live in a society where it is commonplace to assume that you do not know best and to often pay someone else or look to someone else for the answer. Perhaps we wouldn’t have many of the problems we do if more people took charge of their lives and situations, and spoke up about certain things. Rather than think just because you are young, or old, or because you don’t have this or that, or you don’t have a certain qualification, does that mean your opinion, thoughts or ideas don’t matter?

One last quote, on that note, that I saw on Instagram, so not sure who even said it, but it made me laugh, and is also very true! :

“Don’t let anyone tell you you’re too young to accomplish something.
A baby shark is still a fucking shark”

-Holly

x

http://www.hollysharpe.com
@hollysharpe

 

Breathe.

new promo Warrior -H.SHarpe 72dpi

If you follow me on social media, you may have noticed I have gone from posting quite a lot, to posting nothing at all for over a month now… I needed, wanted, a break. I knew June was set to be a crazy busy month, with work and life, so this was something I felt I had to do, something had to give. Or maybe I just had to close off everything I could for a while. Being a creative is so different, I imagine anyway, from how it must have been back in the day. I can post something before, during and after I have created it, instantly, it has the potential to be seen my thousands of people. This is great, and it keeps me going when people are encouraging etc. But actually, it also adds a whole other element that sometimes I’m not sure is such a good thing. Art needs time, I need time. I need space, a whole lot of space, anyone that knows me well probably knows that too. I cope very well in my own company, but at the same time am very sociable and thrive of the energy of others. But to create my work, and sink into the zone, that blissful place where everything makes sense, I need time, and when life gets so busy and things are so up and down, I will draw back, go back into my shell where it feels safe. The problem is, I have enjoyed being in that space a little too much, I thought I would miss Instagram at least, but I really don’t think I have, it’s like it never happened, I adapted to the change extremely quickly. I will be back, and probably soon… I have a new group of illustrations I have been trying to finish – little preview above of one that is still under construction/ still doing alterations to, but you get the idea… – so will most likely be back when they are finished, and I feel ready to show you them…. LOTS more ideas I want to work on too, but as usual it is a question of time… something I tend to be very unrealistic about.

I still feel like I am trying to catch up with myself, and my work. Speeding along against time, knowing I will never beat it or even come close. And then I try to remind myself, that is not the way to live, there is no use in constantly aiming and clinging to the next goal, the next thing, the next event etc, we must live for today, now, whilst trying to sensibly plan a bit for the days ahead at the same time….

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” ~ Lao Tzu

Since I have been offline, amongst other things I have crammed in: two weddings, one in an idyllic forest, one in the Scottish Highlands, a trip to Cologne to do an art market/ show, ate some German food, spoke some German, made some new friends, flew home again, been to a three day festival in Scotland, got rained on, got sunned on, danced, jumped in a waterfall and lazed around with my best friends, turned 29, started the process of moving house, taken lots of photos, read some new books, tried to learn some more French, yoga, running, more running, been to Edinburgh, came back, created some new work, looked over some old work, written down lotsss of new ideas, taken more photos, written some words, read some more words, done some more yoga, started to prepare/ organise for an upcoming art fair in London as well as a three week arts market in the Edinburgh festival…. so ye, it’s been a busy month and a bit!

Of course, no picture can sum all of that up… maybe I’ll share some more photos in another post… but for now, here is a random pic from Cologne.

photo

I hope to post again soon with more words and images of what I have done and what I am still to do, as well as the usual random, but hopefully always engaging, musings.

Until then,

Holly

email: hollysharpe@live.com

http://www.hollysharpe.com

Sometimes // why I draw.

Bacon

I will keep pouring my heart and soul into my work, because sometimes it is the only thing I know how to do.

Sometimes it is the only place I want to go.

Sometimes it is the only thing that makes me feel like there might be meaning in all of this.

Sometimes it is the only way to make me forget the things I don’t want to remember.

Sometimes it is the only way to zone out of all the small things, and the big things, that occasionally make me despair.

Sometimes it is the only way I feel connected with every other soul out there trying to create beautiful art, words, music, and all things creative.

Sometimes it is the only way I can express myself, and hide away rather than revealing how I actually feel, for all the things I will never be able to say out loud. For all the things I don’t even know how to say in words. And for all the things I wish I had said, and now it is too late.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t understand myself, and certainly no body else does, but maybe they will, maybe some people really do ‘get’ my work, and therefore they ‘get’ me… maybe.

Sometimes I feel so inspired or anxious, or both, and drawing is often the most effective way to use all of this energy.

Because sometimes it is the only thing that makes any sense to me.

I will keep on creating till, well, always. For every piece of music I hear that speaks to me on such a high level, I will keep trying to reach that point with my work, if there is a way to put what I feel and hear in music into something visual, I will keep trying. I will keep on trying to pour out whatever it is I often feel such a strong urge to expel from inside of me. I will keep on trying to create a connection that I hope others will see, feel, and believe. I want to create something that helps you, that takes you to that place, the place where I feel safe, where I don’t need to question everything, the place where nothing really matters, but everything does, the place where I will never reach, but will never stop trying to.

– Holly Sharpe.

http://www.hollysharpe.com

quote

A few words on determination and success….

Believe

Determination is sticking to your health/ fitness plan when you really don’t feel like it, it is getting out of your bed when you don’t want to, when it is cold and raining outside, and putting your trainers on and going for a run.

That was me last Tuesday morning. I actually surprised myself, I can be pretty driven and hard on myself, but other times I am too soft and with things like going for a run I make excuses, tell myself I need more sleep, don’t have time etc etc. But it hit me that morning when I was feeling pleased (smug maybe) with myself for making it out and was enjoying the fresh air and refreshing rain as I ran through it, it reminded me that this is your ‘edge’, these are the times that you need to push through, that make the pros stand out from the amateurs, the successes over the (I use this word tentatively) ‘failures’. They draw out those that will always excel in life, because they continued to show up, they kept trying, against the odds, against the stuff that tries to put up a wall against your dreams, they push through it.

Below are a few things, in my opinion, which help towards building determination, and ultimately leading to success in whatever way that means for you:

  • Music helps.
  • Exercise helps.
  • Building good mental habits and practising positivity every single day helps.
  • Meeting new inspiring people.
  • Trying new things and building your confidence.
  • Picking yourself up when things don’t go your way.
  • Fighting back.
  • Perseverance.
  • Belief.
  • Strength.
  • Writing down small steps towards bigger goals and sticking to them.
  • Being kind to yourself.
  • Being hard on yourself.
  • Faith in yourself.
  • Keeping going when others don’t.
  • Focusing on what IS working rather than dwelling on what isn’t/ didn’t.
  • Focus.
  • Drive.
  • (More) perseverance.
  • Integrity.
  • Passion.
  • Grit.
  • Doing it for the right reasons.
  • Straight up hard work.
  • Will power.

What is going to make you stand out from the crowd, and take it a step further to achieve the success that you want?

Hope you are feeling a little more motivated after this fairly brief post!
Holly x

http://www.hollysharpe.com
twitter: @hollysharpe