Through pursuing this thing inside of me, I hope to encourage others to realise they can do the same. Sometimes I wonder if it is selfish? To wrap myself up in my own world. To be able to draw / paint/ create for hours… Or have I simply made a choice, and by the way, in some ways have sacrificed a lot to enable me to follow that choice, to do what I want. I try to reflect from time to time on what my intention actually is, what do I want to say, or achieve through doing what I do?
Well, I like to think that firstly, when there is a wish so strong inside of you, a calling if you like, to do something so much… Perhaps if would be selfish, and maybe even foolish, to ignore this. Sometimes I think that it is my way of lighting up my world, of making sense of things, and by doing so, hopefully lighting up other peoples world, letting them feel something or encouraging them to feel something. Maybe even inspiring them. Inspiring them to bring to light what it is they feel, or what it is that makes them spark.
I also hope to encourage people to create. It really is a powerful therapy. With no desired outcome or objective, just play, dance, draw, paint, sing, create a lovely meal, write, sew, whatever it is, let the only reason for doing it be to let your heart and head wander, to feel free of any other aim or goal for that 30 minutes, or hour, or whatever time you can spare. And if you can look at what you have created afterwards and be proud or happy about it, that is simply a bonus. The process of creating it was a million times more important than the outcome.
I realise that this fairly brief post probably has more questions than answers, I suppose it is just me thinking out loud… The main thing I come back to and realise, is that whatever the answers are, and whatever the reasons are for me doing what I do, ultimately, I can’t imagine not doing it, I could never just stop it entirely, even if occasionally the thought does cross my mind, but I couldn’t, I would feel lost without it. I just hope that more people can wake up to the thing that makes them feel this way, something that you can’t turn your back on and that helps bring balance back into your life. I think everyone has that something, even if they just haven’t realised what it is yet.